Half way there!!!

So actually the title of this blog is a little false because I'm less than half way there! 5 weeks out tomorrow!! Time is flying!! I have to say just like always I am having a blast!! I'm truly lucky and blessed for the amazing support!!!

This past week I have really had more anxiety and nerves. I am more nervous, because it is getting closer and I'm anxious!! I'm so ready to show off all my hard work, but know that I have more hard work in the next few weeks to keep me going!!

I feel like I am almost in the home stretch and no complaints. Each week we check in with our coaches, and it is one of the best feelings seeing the results each week. Thankfully since we decided to go through Twin Fitness, we get an updated plan with workouts and meals each month. I have to say that I'm pretty spoiled with all of the amazing food and diet that we are on. I would definitely say the variety has kept things so much easier and the food is AMAZING...which I think I say every week!
This is a picture of our meal prep! Turkey meatballs are the best as well as the chicken sweet potato burgers!! One thing I learned quickly that planning is key and important!! I started bagging all of our individual meals and then recently learned that I could make it even more simple and bag the whole day in a larger gallon bag!! It takes me a few minutes to rush out of the door in the morning, just throwing the big bag in my cooler and heading to work!!

Follow me for some awesome pictures of food and my life journey through the eye of the camera! www.instagram.com/jasianbaby

Sometimes I do feel mental challenges with the food. I've had the worst cravings for icing and peanut butter. More than anything sweets! Which is surprising because I've never been one to have a sweet tooth! I think one of the hardest things is that it has been so easy. Sounds weird I know, but because we do have an awesome diet and meal plan I feel like it isn't hard, and from the things I had read before doing a competition, it was the hardest part. I don't think so at all and maybe that is because we have always eaten pretty healthy!

Andrew and I filled out and sent in our registration this week! He will be doing open physique and I will be doing open and novice bikini. I am getting more and more excited each day! I look at suits and pictures almost everyday, it is pretty much on the brain at all times, kicking butt and taking charge!! I can't wait to do the glamorous part, the nails, the hair and the make up!! Plus strutting my stuff on stage!! YES!! I'm not one to have stage fright, but I'm sure closer and closer it will definitely be HUGE!

I finally have gotten enough courage to post a progress picture, it is nowhere near where I want to be, but I have to say that the hard work is definitely showing! This is from Week 1 and from this week so week 6! 6 weeks left! I'm definitely working on the posing more and more as well! They say to practice every week, and I'm definitely trying to get in as much as possible! Who knew it was going to be so much work! It is definitely crazy looking back at 6 weeks ago to see how far I've come already!

Never giving up on my dreams and always looking forward! I've had to learn recently that there are some times where the challenges will get to you, where you have to learn to step away from the negativity. Sometimes it can definitely deter your mindset and bring you down further. Thankfully through the support of the other ladies through Twin as well as the amazing boyfriend, I'm still standing and not a lot is going to knock me down! I've come to far to ever look backward! 

I'm start doing weekly body fat measurements with my coach starting this week until the show as well! I can't wait to see how things progress! Until next week :) 

Monkeys Eat too!

Less than 50 days....I can't believe that time is flying so fast and it is already March! A few weeks ago I attended a stage prep course that was SO important and helpful. I learned about posing and stage presence, which I thought I already had some of it down, but I was definitely wrong!! Pour on the sass and add in the sexy and don't forget to arch that back!! Oh and don't forget to smile!! Just a few things to remember for competition ;).

So the last few weeks have been nothing but difficult, not because of the training or because of the diet, but mostly because of the support, or the lack there of. I am truly thankful and blessed for the amazing positive support that I have received however! I've been blown away by the amazing people that have entered my life since I chose this big change.

There have been the minor bumps in the road with the amount of negativity that seems to have come into the picture. One of my biggest annoyances has been, "Can I have a bite of that?" No you can't have a bite you can bring your own damn lunch though!!! The other comments have been much more rude or condescending. Like what is the point or God you're packing a lot of protein in that big cooler of yours. You're getting disgusting skinny you look like you have an eating disorder...I would love to smack these people in their face, but I'm rising above. My so far favorite *insert sarcasm here* thing is when acquaintances, not friends, pull on my clothes. HOW RUDE!!!! I guess it is a form of flattery, but way to overstep the personal space!

I think one of the hardest things I've had to overcome is having people stare at me while I'm eating. Apparently I didn't get the memo that I was behind plate glass cages like a monkey. I'm eating, and guess what it is normal food! *Newsflash!* my food is NORMAL, I grocery shop at a regular store just like you!

Okay Rant over!!! So far I'm going to say that I am LOVING this!!! Everyday is a challenge and I love it! I have had the best time and the meals I am eating are amazing!! The food is the best part and everyone thinks that competition dieting is the worst part! The food we get to eat is so amazing it seriously is the best fuel for my body! Andrew even has been the best about trying the new food recipes and even some fruit ;)!!! My favorites so far have been the meatballs, which are AMAZING!! I love the pancakes, yes I said PANCAKES on a competition diet?!

There have been some minor challenges that I have not mentally been ready for, but thankfully with the support that I do have they are just that, minor! I will say that this is definitely something that is more mentally challenging than anything. Doing this for me is what my intentions are. This is meant to be fun and it is! I heard something from a good friend that is a competitor, that no matter what at the end of a competition, where you place, it doesn't matter, because you have already personally won. You've challenged yourself and conquered any fears and that in itself is ultimately winning.

I've had the best time so far and even through the challenges, no said it would be easy, but they did say it would be worth it!

Nine Weeks Out, but who's counting!!!

As many of you who follow my Instagram or Facebook have probably learned by now, I'm going to be competing in a Bikini Fitness Competition!! I'm very excited, and very nervous all at the same time, but mentally I am ready! 

I have many friends who have competed in many different competitions nationwide, and I never thought I could or wanted to get my feet wet in that sort of thing. For many reasons, I was too nervous, I never thought I could do it, I didn't think I had enough self control for the strict diet, but recently something just clicked! It became something that I couldn't stop thinking about! 

Now many of you probably don't know the difference between all the different shows and I'm sure all of you think you just parade around in the skimpiest swimwear and stripper heels, but there are some big differences! I have chosen to do the bikini category. I don't think I could ever do the figure category because I would rather have a softer look in muscle size and definition!! 

I have learned so much since the beginning of the year and literally every day I look at contest information, suits, shoes, girls, workouts, diets....Everything!!!

The first thing I had heard I needed to do was to set a date! That helps keep your motivation high and also helps you set your eyes on a goal!! I chose a smaller show that is local here in Kansas City, April 27th. http://www.kcbodybuildingonline.com/index.html is the link for the show and information!! 

The next thing I needed to do was to figure out what to do! There is so much that goes into the preparation for something like this and I was like a lost little puppy in this world! Thankfully I do have a great resource of information, a boyfriend who is an awesome personal trainer, that could help me with some of my workouts, but I knew that since nutrition is 80% of it I would need to seek out more help!

Throughout the starting phases of this journey, Andrew, decided and also motivated me, to do the show! So not only do I get lucky enough to get the support throughout the journey, I also get to share the experience with him as well! 

So we decided since we were both rookies to this sport, that we needed to find someone who could help us excel in it and give us some guidance! We luckily both know some awesome people who have competed that were able to help us! Through the help of a trainer who Andrew used to work with, we got signed up with Twin Fitness, where she now works, to help us get started.

So far I'm two check-ins into the process and I feel great! I have the best coaches through Elite Coaching Twin Fitness, who are there anytime we need anything! They have sent monthly workouts and meal plans with some amazing recipes! Not just the dried out chicken and broccoli :) Andrew is even enjoying the food! 

I'm very lucky and blessed that I have amazing support through this process, with the number of girls that I am friends with or have met along this journey I love the positive energy that I have received!! It is definitely a blessing to have the support from all of my friends, because this is something that can be very mentally overwhelming! I have experienced a few meltdowns already and I'm sure I'll probably experience a few more along the road, just a little bump to deter me from my ultimate goal, but not to stop me from getting there! Until next time.... Eventually I'll get more confidence and post some progress pics too! 

My stork has a Jet Engine?!

I was a baby, just shy of 5 months old when I first landed in America to two loving parents who were ready to care for their newest addition.  There are many stories that my parents and family have told me about the first time they met their bundle of joy.  I always joke that a really big stork did end up dropping me off.  My family, including many aunts, uncles, grandparents, and cousins, opened their hearts and were ready for my parent’s journey of caring for this new little girl.  Growing up I never will forget the long summers spent with my cousins at grandma’s house.  Never being treated any different, I was special to each of them, not because I was adopted but because I was a part of the family.   

It was about first grade when I started to become educated on being adopted.  My parents never kept it a secret from me, and the journey I've been on along the way I have learned so much about my culture.  My parents gave me opportunity something that I’m unsure if I would have had in Korea.  Especially with the stories I've heard, back then babies were abandoned at hospitals on steps of police stations, with no safety at all.

There were many times that I felt different or not normal, but growing through that I've realized so much that being different is “normal” and I’m okay with it.  It is a part of growing up that many children face. Sure my skin is a different color and the squint to my eyes may not be average, but it makes me who I am, and my family looked past any of that and loved me regardless. 

There are many things that I've looked back over the course of my life that I realize that I would not have been able to have if I were not blessed by being adopted; the smallest things like food, clothes, and what some call the American Dream, “Freedom,” things that many of us here in America don’t realize and may take for granted.  I was lucky enough that someone wanted me, that a family wanted me. I wasn't going to die early from malnutrition or not have the proper education that I needed. 

In September 2011, the United States District Court for the District of Kansas celebrated its 150^th anniversary.  I had been contacted by an archivist with the District Court because they were going to be putting together a program, a permanent piece of history in the Downtown Kansas City Courthouse.  I was asked several questions for their video, and I remember the lady that was being interviewed before me, the question that rang through and has stuck with me; what is your American Dream?  Her answer struck me, because it was something so simple; Freedom. I have been asked that question and I’m sure many of us in America don’t even realize that something as simple as that could be someone’s dream, because we have been lucky.  I never thought about an answer to that question, my dream growing up wasn’t whether I would survive or have freedom; my dream was having the nice car, the big house, a family, and success.  This was so materialistic in comparison.  It really opened my eyes, I wasn’t just lucky, I was blessed because I had parents who wanted me and chose me.  

My goals here are different then what they may have been in Korea.  I have been able to go to school and further my education, I have been able to work at a job where I can show my compassion and my love and pass along my gifts to others.  It is amazing the small things that we, me included take for granted at times.  Without the choice of adoption, I would not be here and that is a fact.  I wouldn’t have the right to choose, I wouldn’t have felt love the way I have today, I would not be the person I am today and for that I am thankful.  

I've contemplated in the last year finding my birth parents, and I know the road will be a long one with many twists and turns but sometimes you can never figure out where you are going unless you know where you are from.  I have always wondered looking up at the sky at night, does she think of me, or wonder how I am doing? My biggest fear is if she even remembers me. With the support of my loved ones, I know it will be a great reward and worth the risk!

The journey of imperfection

I've never been the athletic girl, one who played sports, one who was confident to even try out.  Working out was something I knew nothing about, especially since I had never had the courage to even step foot in a gym.  By the time I was 20 I was living in Lawrence, where like every college town, nightly binges of eating and drinking were normal.  The late night runs to Taco Bell and Pizza with the side of trays of shots, would finally catch up to me.  Education on diet and exercise was never something I was up to par with either.  I never considered myself someone who had an issue with weight, however there were many times on occasion where I found I was an emotional eater and found ways to "rid" my body of the high caloric intakes I had put my body through.


After I moved out of Lawrence, I realized that my lifestyle needed a change and a big one at that.  


I started running, although I would get winded after a quick jog down the block, I had to push myself.  I finally went to a gym, still with not very much knowledge of what I was doing, I was determined.  I started learning exercises as best that I could. Learning that lifting weights were part of something that I would need to do to lean out my body as well as help with getting me on track.


I had a few set backs though one in particular triggered an emotional eating phase. With lots of emotional drinking as well, it was easier to drink away any pain and find some comfort in food.  I had reached a breaking point, I remember that morning I stepped on the scale and the number I saw was the motivation I needed to push through this phase in my life.  A week later I decided to get back in the flow of working out by joining a new gym maybe this was the motivation I needed even more.  I started getting a routine, work out in the morning, maybe some at night, but it wasn't enough.  Working out was only part of it, and I soon realized after I was hitting plateaus of weight and energy losses.  I had to work on my diet.  Although with  the food struggles I had before I knew this was going to be a bigger challenge.  


Within the last year I feel like I started coming into the real knowledge of food, diet and exercise.  Learning so much about my body's needs for energy and using that energy as a guide for my exercise.  I started taking classes at my gym which was a great feeling, meeting people who have the same goals as myself and desires to maintain a healthy life is always so positive.  I have my bad days, where I still struggle with food and my desires for certain cravings, it is still a battle within myself and with the choices I know I can make that are unhealthy.  I know that my frustrations show sometimes and that only fuels the fire within me.   


With a love for running however, the fire drove me to sign up for my first 5k.  Although running on the treadmill is what I had done for fun, I decided to take it to the streets and run outside, and what better way to start out then a fun run.  Next weekend, I will make a very exciting trip to Chicago with my best friend where we will run in the Color Run! Very exciting for both of us, I can not wait! This run, just one of many that I can't wait to continue to do....possibly a half marathon next, add it to bucket list! :)

The change that I wanted in the beginning was more of a physical change but I've realized it has been a mental change as well.  With exercise I realized the positive mentality on my mindset and how it made me feel afterward.   I still go to the gym on a very regular basis. I love going to the classes, especially one of my favorites, Strike! The diet, a word I don't really like, isn't a diet at all, it is a choice of eating healthy that I strive to keep steady with a few cheats here and there. I'm blessed with a great boyfriend who helps keep my motivation high, even lets me cheat with some Starbucks here and there ;)! I'm thankful for the great friends who instead of persuading me into guilty pleasures and cravings are also there to motivate and keep the positive energy flowing. I know that loving myself is an ultimate goal, realizing that flaws aren't physical imperfections but beauty of being different. 

I ♥ Cooking

Last night decided to try something new...Stuffed pork-chops...sounded good!

Ingredients:

Spinach

Mushrooms

Garlic

Olive Oil

White Wine

Thick cut pork chops

Parsley

Parmesan

Bread crumbs

Sautee garlic in olive oil, add the mushrooms and white wine, sautee until tender, then add the spinach. Combine this with the bread crumbs and parmesan and parsley. Cut a slit in the pork chop and stuff!

Pan sear for about 4 minutes per side and then bake at 450 for another 8-10 or until fully cooked! Super easy and TASTY!! :)

Just another day...

At some point in my life, I'm guess I will own up to the fact that I'm learning.....Learning part of that growing up part of life that I'm not sure I will ever realize is happening. For now I'll own up to the responsibility of accepting my flaws and my mistakes. I've made some real doozies over the past few years, but my growth from them is what I am truly learning to value.

I've learned some very important things, that are continuing to make me grow. Yes my insecurities and sometimes my fear holds me back, but I have to stand up to them. The fear itself may hold me back from opportunity and I'm a go-getter and can't let that happen. My worries and doubt have been slowly silenced by my trust. And for those that know me know that that is one of the hardest things that I've had to overcome, yes the worry does rear its ugly side, I have to learn the past is the past. Learn from it!

Although at some of my barriers I try to run away because its is the easy path to travel, it is not necessarily a road worth taking. My obstacle that I've faced is learning to let go, be free and jump... but lately I feel I've chosen the right road, afraid to fly, but worth the jump. After I didn't think I would ever get back into school, I did it and my first semester back although not the best, My GPA was a 3.0, higher than it was when I quit school back 5 years ago. So proud yes, however knowing I can do better is what keeps my drive. Can't let the fear of striking out, keep me from playing the game.

Monday I started a new diet...part of this whole new me. Although it is probably not going to last long, I'll be positive, and try to stick with it as long as I can. I want to have a healthier lifestyle and for the most part I do lead a pretty decent one. Hitting the gym at least 4-6 times a week keeps my motivation high!

Can't being to express how excited for the changes to come!