Just another day...

At some point in my life, I'm guess I will own up to the fact that I'm learning.....Learning part of that growing up part of life that I'm not sure I will ever realize is happening. For now I'll own up to the responsibility of accepting my flaws and my mistakes. I've made some real doozies over the past few years, but my growth from them is what I am truly learning to value.

I've learned some very important things, that are continuing to make me grow. Yes my insecurities and sometimes my fear holds me back, but I have to stand up to them. The fear itself may hold me back from opportunity and I'm a go-getter and can't let that happen. My worries and doubt have been slowly silenced by my trust. And for those that know me know that that is one of the hardest things that I've had to overcome, yes the worry does rear its ugly side, I have to learn the past is the past. Learn from it!

Although at some of my barriers I try to run away because its is the easy path to travel, it is not necessarily a road worth taking. My obstacle that I've faced is learning to let go, be free and jump... but lately I feel I've chosen the right road, afraid to fly, but worth the jump. After I didn't think I would ever get back into school, I did it and my first semester back although not the best, My GPA was a 3.0, higher than it was when I quit school back 5 years ago. So proud yes, however knowing I can do better is what keeps my drive. Can't let the fear of striking out, keep me from playing the game.

Monday I started a new diet...part of this whole new me. Although it is probably not going to last long, I'll be positive, and try to stick with it as long as I can. I want to have a healthier lifestyle and for the most part I do lead a pretty decent one. Hitting the gym at least 4-6 times a week keeps my motivation high!

Can't being to express how excited for the changes to come!

A College Edu-macation

After recently stalking a friend's facebook status, it was very interesting the argument that was going on back and forth between comments.... The background of the status was about how certain people only think or talk about sex and if you are a guy that only thinks with your dick and not your brain to keep walking. Now that is a completely other subject for sure. One of the comments was very interesting to me, which kind of sent a fire through me:

This girl commented:

"I suppose if you were spending your Friday nights studying at the school of engineering or school of medicine, you would meet an entirely different class of people and *maybe* some men with brains and an interest in a woman as a person. "

Now this is what kind of hit me. First how is that in any relation to the actual subject of the status to begin with...I guess for this person maybe the more educated individual is what strikes this person's fancy. I guess this soap box for me was not one that I wanted to stand on. I am not the kind of person that judges other's based on their education, their fame or fortune. For everyone to me is just a person, that craps and still stinks! Another funny aspect of this status to me, is the school where you need to study, not only do you need to be educated but you need to be studying engineering or medicine.... Now I have no college degree, however I think that I have a pretty amazing brain. I know many individuals out there without college degrees, that have made it and are making it with goals and structure in their life. I guess this comment, really hit me that judgement is passed. Summing up her comment I guess if you aren't in a school where you are going to a prospective leader making large sums of money than you aren't in a "good" social class or hanging out with guys with brains.

What a joke...I guess I will be with the rest of the social class that isn't with my nose in a book, but experiencing life on a Friday night instead of studying it up....judge me as you may.

A New day...

So out of my daily routine, that I have somewhat adapted to over the last few months, a wrench was thrown in there.... It is amazing how comfortable you get to the every day life that you lead that sometimes along the way you lose sight of the fact that things change and when they do it is crazy how we adapt to the new change.

This week, even though a short week, brought about a New Year and some major changes in my life. Although just like everyone else, I have created a New year's Resolution, I am having the hardest time sticking to it. My sailor mouth is something I'm trying my hardest to get rid of!! And although it becomes an even bigger challenge especially when I'm a crazy KU Basketball fan and conference play started this week!

So my new New Year's Resolution at this point, is to set some amazing life goals. After recent talks with a very close friend, she has come up with an amazing idea a Life Book, which I can't wait to start....full of my ideas and goals and motivations for myself....Each year or every few months I'm going to update it. My next challenge I plan to do this month....conquering the tornado of a room in my apartment, aka my CLOSET! I really want to start organizing my closet and getting rid and purging JUNK!!!! So my newest long term goal....Getting my masters by the time I'm 30! I finally found the program that I'm so pumped and ready to start! Bachelors in a few and masters after that! I can't wait!!!

There were changes that have happened this week and although small it is crazy how much they effect my life. It is a huge thing for me at least when you let someone into your life and realize that you have to let your guard down and after a few months I feel as though I've conquered this test. Choosing to not only care about someone else but also caring about myself as well...letting myself be happy, and although this month is only off to a start, I know it is going to fly by and can't wait to see what changes are just around the corner! In past few months I wouldn't even call it lucky as much as now I call it blessed. :-) You can't be afraid to fall...when you can always get back up and try again.