Well I can't believe it but I am in the final day before the big show!!! I can't believe it is already here! For some reason I've been very emotional this week, more than normal ;). But I have such mixed feelings. It feels like anxiety and fear all in one big pit in my stomach. Part of the feeling is that I've worked so hard and it is going to go by so fast I want live in every moment tomorrow.
Luckily it won't be over for too long, because starting back Monday I will be back on the plans to continue my training because I will be competing again, and soon!!!
The last couple of weeks before a competition are no joke, I will not lie! Train hard, work hard, and pushing limits are all things I've heard over the last few weeks. I had a lot of anxiety starting in my final two weeks, just fear built up and feeling like I haven't had enough time. I put a lot of pressure on myself which doesn't help, and I'm learning to let go and just breathe. Something I'm usually not good at.
I made a decision last week, that was probably one of the best decisions I've made in a long time. I had been stressing about my full time accelerated school program and my full time job, part time job and the full time training that I've been putting myself through. I decided that I was spreading myself way too thin and something had to give. I was in tears almost every night just sick with anxiety and worry and knew it was time to make the decision to let something go. My last day at Life Time was this past Saturday, and while I'm thankful because I will still be working out there and seeing everyone, it was a hard but great decision. That same day I decided on my schedule for school with all of my classes planned out until graduation May 2014!! I will be a Baker Graduate?! No way!! With these decisions, I definitely felt a lot of pressure leaving which was great, because I was really able to focus this last week on kicking butt in the gym for my last set of workouts!
I've looked back at the progress I've made and I'm so happy and thankful for the amazing results!! You never realize how good you can feel until you can reach certain goals. The best part about competing is I can always set a goal, things change so much in your body and perfection will never be achieved but certain goals will be.
With a very busy day ahead, I'm off to pose, check in, 1st set of tan, make some goodies for the other competitors and competitor check ins - I'm sure today will go by fast! Tomorrow will be here before I know it and I will be stepping on stage for the first time! Ready to kill!!
Big shout outs to my biggest supporters an those who have kept me sane!! Love you all, thanks for being there through the meltdowns, helping me resist the extra almonds, or just being there!! Don't worry I'll post some pics soon!
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