My stork has a Jet Engine?!

I was a baby, just shy of 5 months old when I first landed in America to two loving parents who were ready to care for their newest addition.  There are many stories that my parents and family have told me about the first time they met their bundle of joy.  I always joke that a really big stork did end up dropping me off.  My family, including many aunts, uncles, grandparents, and cousins, opened their hearts and were ready for my parent’s journey of caring for this new little girl.  Growing up I never will forget the long summers spent with my cousins at grandma’s house.  Never being treated any different, I was special to each of them, not because I was adopted but because I was a part of the family.   

It was about first grade when I started to become educated on being adopted.  My parents never kept it a secret from me, and the journey I've been on along the way I have learned so much about my culture.  My parents gave me opportunity something that I’m unsure if I would have had in Korea.  Especially with the stories I've heard, back then babies were abandoned at hospitals on steps of police stations, with no safety at all.

There were many times that I felt different or not normal, but growing through that I've realized so much that being different is “normal” and I’m okay with it.  It is a part of growing up that many children face. Sure my skin is a different color and the squint to my eyes may not be average, but it makes me who I am, and my family looked past any of that and loved me regardless. 

There are many things that I've looked back over the course of my life that I realize that I would not have been able to have if I were not blessed by being adopted; the smallest things like food, clothes, and what some call the American Dream, “Freedom,” things that many of us here in America don’t realize and may take for granted.  I was lucky enough that someone wanted me, that a family wanted me. I wasn't going to die early from malnutrition or not have the proper education that I needed. 

In September 2011, the United States District Court for the District of Kansas celebrated its 150^th anniversary.  I had been contacted by an archivist with the District Court because they were going to be putting together a program, a permanent piece of history in the Downtown Kansas City Courthouse.  I was asked several questions for their video, and I remember the lady that was being interviewed before me, the question that rang through and has stuck with me; what is your American Dream?  Her answer struck me, because it was something so simple; Freedom. I have been asked that question and I’m sure many of us in America don’t even realize that something as simple as that could be someone’s dream, because we have been lucky.  I never thought about an answer to that question, my dream growing up wasn’t whether I would survive or have freedom; my dream was having the nice car, the big house, a family, and success.  This was so materialistic in comparison.  It really opened my eyes, I wasn’t just lucky, I was blessed because I had parents who wanted me and chose me.  

My goals here are different then what they may have been in Korea.  I have been able to go to school and further my education, I have been able to work at a job where I can show my compassion and my love and pass along my gifts to others.  It is amazing the small things that we, me included take for granted at times.  Without the choice of adoption, I would not be here and that is a fact.  I wouldn’t have the right to choose, I wouldn’t have felt love the way I have today, I would not be the person I am today and for that I am thankful.  

I've contemplated in the last year finding my birth parents, and I know the road will be a long one with many twists and turns but sometimes you can never figure out where you are going unless you know where you are from.  I have always wondered looking up at the sky at night, does she think of me, or wonder how I am doing? My biggest fear is if she even remembers me. With the support of my loved ones, I know it will be a great reward and worth the risk!